"To die in order to avoid the pains of poverty , love , or anything tht is disagreeable , is not the part of a brave person , but of a coward ."

- unknown

But what happens when life became too difficult and torturous

to be endured ?

Would u just choose to end it ? Or would u live on ?

Much had happened over the past few days .

Yellings and beatings tht got out of control ,

fights and arguments tht couldnt be stopped .

Ive been going in and out of home since last Thursday .

Wandering alone in the streets of BB west ,

with no one to talk to , and no shoulders to cry on .

My neighbourhood turned out to be the only true friend i have ;

the staircase were my listening ears and

the walls were the shoulders that i leaned to cry on .

It was pathetic to be pouring out my problems to a carpark but still ,

i was grateful to it for being thr for me at tht point of time .

But back then , i kept wondering ..

where were all my friends ?

those friends whom i thought will always be by my side no matter wht ...

Why does all of them seemed to disappear whenvr im

always at my losing end ?

Yes , i always kept silent about my problems as i wouldnt want to be a burden to those friends who were alr facing much .

But a girl still needs her special companion at times like this , dont you think ?

First , it was family . Then , it was friendship ;

once again , parents got mad ovr a slight misunderstanding .

& i got caught in a love triangle , again .

oh God , how can i ever put an end to all this ?

Thinking abt it just gives me a headache . & ive been forcing myself to vomit at least twice every hour , hoping tht the ache will go away aft doing so .

Suicide is never a remedy . & I aint those typical kind of girls to be doing stupid stuffs to themselves whenevr they're feeling down .

Because I have to be strong for my siblings , and myself .

Dear dearest ,

Everything tht is happening now , reminds me so much of our March memories .

Everything was the same ; the situation , the problems , the people , the punishment and all .

The only difference is tht .. now , you are no longer by my side .

& it hurts to see history repeating itself without you .

& im so sorry fr not updating for such a long time .

you've read my post ,

so Diy hope u guys understand .

thankyou .