I'm feeling so bored right now.

With nowhere to go and nobody to go with.

Firstly, i would like to thank a whole lotta people

who had supported me by giving me shelter and food for

the days i had been on the running.

A big thankyou to Syaee Mollie and Zach Nollie, Bryan Tan,

Dzul Hisyam and Azura Yusof. (:
Most importantly, thankyou to my Granny Salma who

talked things out to my parents
for me and persuaded me to go home.

Thank God. Mummy has finally stopped crying now but

is still giving me the silent treatment.

Just a piece of advice from me to all teenagers out there -

Do appreciate your family. And always

remember that its your parents who brought you up so

we should be thankful for that. (:

When i'm terribly in love, i am willing to do anything to please the person i love.
But you took advantage of that fact.

And just because we did it before once,
doesnt mean we have to do it again that night.

How cheap do you think i am?
I admit that i can be naive and gullible when it comes to love.
I can give my whole world to the person i love even though i know he doesnt love me back.
It felt so stupid. To be in your bed, with our arms wrapped around each other,
when i fully know you dont love me.

You guys dont have to have the perfect eyesight to see that he was just using me for the night.

But i was too blinded by love that i couldnt spot the signs.
You said the first thing you will do after you break up with her is to make me your girlfriend forever.
But will that make me happy? I will live my entire live, feeling guilty,

thinking i was the cause of a couple's separation.

I'm sick of having to feel guilty just for loving you.

I'm sick of you treating me like your scandal.

I'm sick of you loving me only behind other's backs.

I'm sick of being your spare.
You've treated me this way before. We played behind your girlfriend's back then,
but she didnt come to know of it. Because i kept our secret well.

But if we were to play the same game again, i dont think i can keep it any longer.

As a girl, i know how it feels to have your boyfriend
secretly playing you out with another girl. I dont wish to be that 'another girl'.

But i was then. And now, i am again. To the exact same guy. But with his different girl.

Oh god. How much more stupid can i be?

I swore i could have slapped myself for repeating the same mistake.

But this time, the impact is far deeper.

Because i realise that i really love this guy.
All i wanted was for him to give me a second chance for me to make amends

to improve our relationship that i once spoilt two years ago.

But he's happily attached now so goddamit shit, i have to wait.
And eversince my 13 months of wait for (insert name) was a total failure,

the last thing i ever want to do in life is to wait for my someone special again.

But i'm still gonna wait, no matter what it takes.

I know that you are trying hard to love and accept her as your girlfriend.

And i know that your feelings are so mixed up right now till you dont even know who you truly love.

And i'm sorry if my confession made you more confused than you already was.
I'm sorry, i sucks so much that i dont even deserve a second chance to prove to you that i can

be a better girlfriend than i was in the past.

I'm sorry, i was so weak that everything you said sent the tears right down.

What you said could be true, afterall.

Maybe i should just forget you and move on.

But how i wish things would be easier done than said.

We've not been contacting each other for awhile now.

And i think its best if things remain this way.

Even though i'm missing you so much, i'm trying my best not to talk to you or

even think of you. But whatever it is, i would like you to know that you were the

best boyfriend that i ever had.

And i truly regret that i didnt cherish you then.

If there is ever a chance for me to make up to you,

i will make sure that i'll love you with my biggest heart and i promise

not to disappoint you with my stupid mistakes again.
Dear (her name), forgive me for loving your boyfriend.
Dearest (his name), i really love you.